For a long time my favorite verse in the "Christmas Story" has been one in which Mary humbly states; ..."Behold the handmaid of the Lord: be it unto me according to thy word." Such obedience to the will of God is beautiful as Mary was faced with a black name from her community, family, and fiance.
This is something that I admired in Mary, but didn't really look for in myself.
Myself. This is a very interesting subject. I am naturally one who plans ahead, worries ahead, crosses bridges before she comes to them (and ends up in the hospital after the bridge collapses beneath her).
I'm prone to wondering about what I'll do after high school, how I'll know who to marry, what I'll wear for my graduation ceremony, how on earth I'll pick my bridesmaids - since I have so many people to choose from.... and it goes on.
Harder than these questions is this one: What am I going to do with my life? If my Prince Charming comes along, I want to be a stay-at-home wife and mother - but what if he doesn't come? Maybe God has something else in store - BUT WHAT?! If I should choose a college career, what field should I enter? Or should I not go to college at all? - I need to choose soon, right?
(BTW: I do have my own opinion on the College vs. Stay-at-home war. I believe there is nothing wrong with going to college as long as it's God's perfect will for you. College is dangerous territory for a Christian, but if it is God's perfect will, far be it from me to condemn it. Right now though, I think I should add, I don't feel called to that route.)
These doubts and fears (along with a few other troubles) piled up for a while. I felt bogged down, chained to God's will, unable to make my own decision. I knew that God had said "my yoke is easy", so something must not have been right, but I didn't know what.
Finally, after much prayer, I talked to my mom about it. Through the conversation, I was strengthened in the promise of, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He SHALL direct thy paths."
Later - around the time that I sheepishly thanked God for not-so-patiently-or-trustingly-waited-for answers - I also remembered verses like "FEAR NOT for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name, THOU ART MINE" and "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself". (I'm paraphrasing, be fore-warned.)
Truthfully, I'm not sure what God has for me. So far I feel led to be a stay-at-home wife and mother... but when will that come to pass? I could marry straight out of high school or later in life. Maybe I'll be called to college before I marry, maybe not.
I've searched over and over for this one answer: "Lord, what do you want me to do with my life?" and it frequently comes back as "Be a prisoner."
Yes. I'm to be a prisoner. Chained, yes - I openly admit it - but by choice. By love. I should be so lost in God that my own ambitions are washed away with a yearning, born of love, that HIS ambitions be fulfilled.
Whatever He shows me to do, whenever He chooses to do it will be fine. Peers may click their tongues and shake their heads, but as long as I'm in God's will it shouldn't matter to me. Whatever gawking acquaintance or hard circumstance He allows to enter my "little world" I should embrace as good for me. Where He leads me, I will follow - though none go with me or approve.
He tells me that He will direct my paths. He says I'm His. He says that the trying of my faith worketh patience. What shall I say, then?
"Behold the handmaid of the Lord: be it unto me according to thy word."
Anna is a Born-Again Message Believer who hopes to edify and encourage others while glorifying her Lord at her blog, Daughter of the King. A homeschooled music-lover and amateur chef-slash-baker, she has a large family and a growing heart.