The Christian Closet: Kaleb Ashby

Kaleb Ashby

My name is Kaleb Ashby. I am 24 years old, and I am a pansexual male. I work for Spokane AIDS Network doing HIV prevention, outreach, and testing. I am a non-denominational Christian. I want to make a positive difference, and be a big part in ending the AIDS epidemic.

My favorite book is Harry Potter; that series has molded me to be who I am and taught me to fight for what I believe, whether I have people backing me up or not. I love writing and reading. Slam poetry is a hobby of mine, and it’s one of my deepest passions.

"I want to make a positive difference, and be a big part in ending the AIDS epidemic."

When did you first realize you were pansexual?

I first realized that I was open to my sexuality when I was in 8th grade or so, but I remember fooling around with other boys when I was closer to ten years old.

Are you out?

I am out and proud in my community, so that way I can lend my voice in making a difference to the community/world.

How have Christians hurt you as you struggle with your sexuality?

Despite my belief in God, more often than not Christians have hindered my walk with him because of my sexuality. I could feel God’s embrace, though. I could hear Him telling me to persevere. So I did. At this point in my life, I realize that my walk with God is my own, and no one can tell me otherwise.

"I realize that my walk with God is my own, and no one can tell me otherwise."

What is the one sexuality question you're most tired of hearing?

One of the questions I get a lot is, “What is pansexuality?” Pansexuality is being open to all gender/gender identities. For some reason, however, people think that includes animals. Pansexuality and bestiality is synonymous in the eyes of many people, and I am pretty angry with this point of view.

What is your greatest fear about being pansexual? What is your favorite part?

I don’t really have any fears about my sexuality, only joys. I feel like I have the best sexuality because I can be open with just about anyone, and that I can enjoy the presence of anyone that I meet. Beyond that, I am not bound to one kind of sex, it is expansive, and I love that!

"I am not different than anyone. I am just me."

How does your family handle your sexuality?

My family has been a major strength of mine, and has supported me the whole time. I can’t thank them enough for all they have done for me. They don’t ask questions much, which is nice. I don’t have to explain anything; they just leave me as me. This, I think, is the best thing in the world. I am not different than anyone. I am just me.


  1. *horrified stare* People think that pansexuality is the same as bestiality? That is terrible! Geez. Anyway, I admire that you continue to walk on in your faith no matter what and that you find strength in your family and your personal convictions. My best to you as you carry on!


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