Story Time: The Tinder Date

A group of my friends on Facebook were once discussing "bad first date/first meetup stories," and I had a fun one to share. My comment turned out so massively long I decided to turn it into a blog post. Hopefully someone will find it as comedic and entertaining as I do now in hindsight.


Once upon a time, I met a guy on Tinder. Call him Adam. My friends think this story is hilarious because he was a skinny bald plumber, but I swear he was really cool. Listened to cool music and made me laugh. I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for him, I just thought he was a cool friend.

We spent a lot of time messaging and Skyping. Like, a lot. For two months. I didn't have anything better to do besides binge Netflix, and he seemed to at least like talking to me. I actually met his sister, her husband, and his friend (and the pizza guy who was delivering at the moment) on Skype. I still think that night was really funny; it got too loud inside, so he went to his car to talk to him, but his friends followed him and climbed on the car and dented his roof. Like, permanently. I about died laughing.

Anyway, Adam lived two hours away (we matched while my family was on a day trip). I figured if we decided to meet in person we'd find a halfway point, but he said he would come visit me if I wanted. I was on medical leave from school and only ever left the house to go to the library, so our plan was to meet at the library. Some of my friends thought it was a weird idea, but he seemed cool with it. He was always so chill.

The first time we were supposed to meet, I don't remember exactly what happened - I think he couldn't get off work or something. The second time, a pipe in his parents' house burst and they wanted him to come look at it. Kind of sucked, but was also kind of a funny story. Third time's a charm anyway, right?

So the day comes. February 13. It's perfect; Valentine's weekend, so if this does turn into a date it'll be super cute and romantic later, but not Valentine's Day, so not a ton of pressure or anything. I spent over an hour getting ready. I never wear makeup, I never do my hair, but I was soooo nervous. I didn't know if I *like* liked him, but I'd never met someone from online in person before, and he was funny, and it was Valentine's weekend, and it was still a possibility we could be something, and if I did end up liking him I didn't want to screw it up. So I wore my pretty dress with the lowish neckline and my most confidence-infusing boots and put on eyeliner. You know I'm giving 100% if I'm wearing eyeliner.

I was 19, but I couldn't drive much yet (anxiety issues), and I didn't have my own vehicle, so my parents dropped me off at the library. My mom reminded me a million times to keep her updated and under no circumstances get in a vehicle or go anywhere else with him. She did say I could see if he wanted to hang out with all of us later, since my family had plans that night and we were welcome to join. With anxiety plus first-meeting-that-could-be-a-date plus having only been on like one or two real dates ever, I was suuuuuper nervous.

Because of my parents' schedule, they had to drop me off early, so I signed in to one of the computers and just basically killed time online, probably on Facebook or something. The time came for us to meet, and I didn't see him. He was about ten minutes late when I texted my best friend, worried, nervous, freaking out. She pointed out that he lived two hours away, and if he was running late or hit some traffic, he probably shouldn't be texting or calling me while driving. I was like yeah, you're right, ten minutes late with a two hour drive isn't a big deal.

Fifteen minutes.

Twenty.

Half an hour.

It was an hour past our meeting time when he texted me. "Emily! I'm so sorry!!" He was super sick, and running a fever, and he'd passed out when he got home from work, and he completely forgot we were supposed to meet or he would have texted me.

This time was a lot more disappointing. I'd been a little let down when he had to cancel before, but I'd actually put on the dress and the makeup and shown up for this one. I texted my best friend for advice; do I let on that this was getting disappointing, and that maybe he's starting to look suspicious? Do I tell him I'm really worried and that with his high fever and passing out he should go to the ER? We decided on a careful mix of the two.

I sent the first message: I'm really worried about you. If you're running a fever and passed out, maybe you should go to the ER. Take care of yourself.

Then another one: I'm really disappointed we couldn't meet up today though. This seems to keep happening.

I contacted my parents for a ride home. They were going to a movie with my brothers, so I tagged along. I think they were secretly relieved their daughter wasn't meeting a stranger from the internet, but I was bummed. Basically just got stood up on Valentine's weekend, but he's sick, so it's not really his fault.

After the movie, I checked my phone. No response to my previous messages. I texted him. I don't remember what we watched, but I remember I kind of liked it and just wanted some pretext to message him again and make sure we were still cool.

He didn't message back. I didn't want to look desperate or lame, so I told myself not to message him again. It was his turn.

The next day, he checked in (on Facebook) at an all-weekend Valentine's dance party at a nightclub. He never messaged me again. I deleted his number.

Epilogue: Eight months later. He followed me on Twitter. No messages, no explanation. I looked at his Twitter and found him on Facebook again. He had a new girlfriend, looked pretty much the same as when I knew him. I still don't know why he followed me. Either he chose to follow me after not speaking for eight months, or my account was one of his "auto-follow recommendations" that he confirmed without thinking, meaning he still had my phone number saved. But that was the last I saw of Adam the skinny bald plumber.

Update: After writing this out, my curiosity got the better of me. I had to know. I went through my Twitter followers. He hasn't tweeted since 2015, so goodness knows when he even last logged in. But HE STILL FOLLOWS ME ON TWITTER. Which just makes all this even funnier, if you ask me.

The end.

Comments

  1. Wow, I'm glad you see the humor in that.... I just think he sounds like a jerk, the way he treated you. But was a funny story :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it felt pretty sucky in the moment. But now, why not get a laugh out of it?

      Delete
    2. Very true. I'm all for laughing at the past to better live the present ;d

      Delete

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